Someone to fix me

Well I've been chewing over how to best tell this portion for a few days. I can't think of how best to explain it. This could be because this is one of the few cases of someone fixing me (rather than the reverse). It's subtle and it snuck up on me.

Paul and I start talking after the Alan debacle. After drinks with Rick, and the subsequent sleepover, Rick does his usual disappearing act. Paul and rick are so not alike it's nearly funny. Paul has high ideals for the relationship and lays out clear ground rules before we meet in person. He not looking for a casual fling and it's unacceptable for me to date other people while seeing him-even though due to distance and circumstances its clear we won't be able to get together very often by my standards.

When we finally do meet in person I'm torn. But only for the first five minutes. He's not really my type looks wise and he's dressed in a style so much younger than mine I fear the people around us think I'm his mother. But after the first five minutes everything just clicks. Life is good.

Our second date turns into some sort of dating marathon. And I have him over to my house. Which is strictly forbidden-usually having people over to my place freaks me out-especially people that I don't know very well. It's going well, for once I'm getting to know someone before they see me naked.

On the third date we are at his place. Somehow the topic gets onto old relationships. Specifically mine, which we all know don't always go so well. "Every relationship I've ever been in was a failure." I say actually quoting Rick. When Rick and I first dated I was feeling bad about my six month marriage failing and these were his words of consolation. Like I said-not romantic- but the thought was there. Anyways this declarations stops Paul dead in his tracks. He turns and looks at me," That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. And if that's really the way you think then NO relationship is ever going to work for you and I don't even know why you're here."

Reality check please.

He then explains that my attitude is predetermining the outcome. That nearly every relationship teaches you something, makes you smarter or improves you choosing skills for the next relationship.

And that if you tried your best in a relationship and really gave it your all; that even if things didn't work out you shouldn't consider it to be a failure of yours. Somethings just don't work out.