Wednesday, February 27, 2008

So Where Has She Been?

I haven't been blogging because I don't feel like I can form a cohesive thought. Usually I blog when I'm finished with an issue-when it's over. I put it down for you to read and it's over. Checked off the list. Done with. Finished.

But nothing seems to be complete or finished in any way lately.

And when I think something is finished; just when I reach the end; I can see that the beginning has started to unravel.

"Unravel" you say? It begs the question, I know. But before I can explain the how this thing called my life comes apart you'll have to know how I judge it when it's together. (I told you I wasn't making much sense lately).

Recently someone asked me if I wrote these things down on paper. And looked incredulous when I said no. All in my head. Scrubbing showers gives one a lot of time to think. My best friend claims I spend more time thinking than any other one person he knows- I cannot tell if that's an insult or a compliment but anyways.

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The three area theory.

It's exactly what it says it is. In my life there are three main areas: money, health and relationships. Money includes work, bills, and all things related to or governed by money (or lack thereof). Health includes my physical and mental being. And relationships includes all interactions with other- be it friendship or romantic. Some of these overlap at times. Yes, I've had the ill-fated office romance. And also a job that was so stressful it made me physically sick. You get the idea.

Each area has the same relative weight for me.

So asking me how I'm doing really only involves a quick glance at these three. If you know me well enough, you'll find that two areas going okay is generally enough for me to consider it as "things going well." Somehow all three never seem to be going well at any one given time but if I can get two out of three I figure that's not so bad. If one area is well then I hang my hat on that for a while. However when nothing seems to go right its more of a three strikes and you're out kind of thing.

Unfortunately things in my life tend to snowball.

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